“Respect your father and your mother, so that you may live a long time
in the land that I am giving you.” (Exodus 20:12)
What most kids don’t realize is that as they get older, they have an increasing ability to bless their parents and to touch their hearts. I didn’t realize this until I reached my fifties. I realize now that my mum and dad were waiting for me to show love, affection and generosity to them all along, even during my university years, and after I got my first job. But of course, they would never ask for it! I didn’t have much in the early years and thought the only thing that they would appreciate was money, so I left it until much later in life before I “blessed” them. I was so wrong.
There are so many ways to touch their hearts. Spending time with them, welcoming them into your marriage, and the early years of your family. Giving time to take them out on son/daughter-parents meals (without your spouse) so you can get into some personal conversations with them. My father came to know the Lord only in his late sixties; I believe had I made the effort to get closer to him, and had I known how to touch his heart, he would have received Christ earlier.
One of the best ways is to thank them for what they did for you; the sacrifices they made, they opportunities they gave you, and the love they gave you. To say it verbally is one of the hardest things in Asian culture. Ten years ago, I made a journey back to Penang to see my dad. I wanted one-on-one time with him. I asked him about his early years, his hardships and sacrifices so that I could appreciate and understand him more, and to understand my own background more. Then I said the words every father longs to hear, but would never ask his children for. “You are the best dad in the world!” I said. I meant it. As we hugged, we both cried. A healing took place that day onwards. We became closer. And I realized I had touched the deepest part of his heart!
“当孝敬父母，使你的日子在耶和华 ─ 你神所赐你的地上得以长久。”
很多当孩子的可能未意识到这回事 – 那就是随着年龄增长，他们就会有更大的能力去祝福和触动父母亲的心。我本身是到了50岁左右才发现，打从我大学时期还有得到第一份工作时，我父母亲一直都在默默地等待着我向他们表示关爱、关怀与慷慨之心。当然，他们是从不会开口要求的！起初，我的收入并不多，而我那时认为他们最期待的就只是有金钱，所以我是在很后期才开始”祝福”他们的。但，我错了，并错的很离谱。
Philip Lyn 医生牧师