Faith Story by Krystina Cheong
I had one of my insomnia nights again where I lay awake and my mind couldn’t stop the train of thoughts. It had been so many years, circumstances had not changed and my prayers were unanswered.
My question to God was always “Why?”. Why me?” “What if…” or “If it wasn’t for… I should’ve”. These questions just brought me down a rabbit hole of endless rumination. It was a bad mental habit of mine. I wanted it to stop, I wanted the peace of God which trusts Him in all circumstances.
It was the middle of the night, and I was tired. Then suddenly I had a thought pass through my mind. It came out of nowhere. I believe God spoke to me at that very moment. He said “My love for you is greater”. I was shocked because there’s I didn’t read this phrase lately, or come across someone speaking this. God doesn’t always speak to us in an audible voice but a still small voice that can come in the form of a thought that is impressed on by the Holy Spirit.
No, I didn’t get the answer to my “Why?” question, but I got a word of assurance that meant far more to me than knowing why. His love for me is greater, and that’s all I needed to know. I immediately felt peace and fell asleep. I can’t explain how my mind switched from an anxious one to a peaceful one. All I know is that God’s assurance and love for me is greater and that is all I needed to hear at that time.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” 1 John 4:18